samedi 30 octobre 2010

all fixed

Once upon a time there was a woman who was very very angry. She had been angry for a long time, since her childhood. Angry at somebody in particular, so angry that she suddenly lashed out at the person who had been hurting her, lashed out in a very unreasonable way, in a mean way and she hurt the other person a lot.

The person expected apologies that the woman never made. The person would not talk to the woman any more. The person's wife got sad and the woman tried to persuade herself that she did not care, that she had made a clean break after years of verbal abuse from the person.
The woman went to see a therapist, the woman tried to forgive herself, the woman tried to go on with her life. The woman never cried, but she had a constant bellyache, she was wolfing down vast quantities of food, and oh the guilt. The guilty feeling that was always there, so painful, so heavy.

The woman stopped visiting the person and his wife, but after one year of not visiting, asked her husband to take their children to see them, a 600 km drive one way. The wonderful husband agreed, and the woman was to meet up with him and their children after the 2 day visit, somewhere else.

But 3 days before leaving, the wonderful husband, for the first time in 20 years of driving, got caught by the police at an unreasonable speed on his motorbike and his driving license was taken away on the spot, for one month. And the woman could not bear to think of the disappointment that the person and his wife would endure not seeing the children, so she drove them all there, and stayed with them and all went well.

She could not bear continuing to be hurt, but then she could not bear having hurt in return. What is a person to do? Some relationships are such hard work it's unbearable.

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